Tuesday, August 01, 2006
A new diabetes responsibility
Well, after 8 years of avoidance, I am getting my driver's license. I think it was CBC that made me so nervous, I mean phobic. I was a very silly girl and loved to be hyper and energetic and funny when I was at camp. I remember being 6, 7, 8, 9 etc.. and people always joking about how they would be sure to stay off the road when I got my license. I am sure no one ever really meant it. If they truly knew me they knew there was an old lady sharing a body with my silly little girl self. Someone cautious and nervous and neurotic. I truly took those comments to heart and when my 16th birthday came around, I heard all of those voices in my head and pretty much decided that I would probably kill someone if I drove. And so, here I am 24 years old and just learning to drive. Well, not learning, I know how, but learning to deal with my FEAR around driving. I have gone on the road several times now and haven't killed anyone, or even come close to bumping into something. YAY!!! As a PWD driving involves even more responsibility than it does for the average driver. Being low is waaaaaayyyyy bad, I mean talk about a good way to fulfill the "fears" of all of my camp elders. Being low is a great way to get myself killed or perhaps even worse, kill someone else. Being really high isn't great either. I feel very sick and dizzy when I get too high. So this means it is super important that I learn to find a safe driving bs level. What can make this a little difficult is that I am nervous when am driving and my nervousness feels like low blood sugar. Sooooo, I have decided to keep myself around 180 and when in doubt, pull over with plenty of glucose and nabs handy!!! Every so often life changes, even a little, and there's diabetes just to remind you that some things never change. And, hell, at this point, that's just fine with me.